Do you ever think about past mistakes; worry about current stresses and how these could negatively impact the future? Do you over analyse other peoples' comments? Do you read into things that aren't actually there?
The thing is, the more we worry about the things that could go wrong, the more anxious we feel in the present. If you recognize yourself in the above, you are what psychologists call a ruminator (an over-thinker). Ruminating on stress and disappointments can be harmful to your health and relationships.
When we find ourselves in this state of mind, we often push away those that we are worrying about or seeking love from. We become anxious, negative, depressed and not very pleasant to be around.
This is not something that we can turn on or off, but skills that we have to learn, memorise and reproduce again and again. It requires perseverance and work to let go of old behaviours, no longer useful and replace them with new ones.
The first step towards getting better is to acknowledge what needs to change.
It’s actually not our fault. Our brains are wired to make over thinking an inbuilt process, how we learnt to react to various life experiences either activates or keep this wiring more or less dormant.
When you notice the over thinking coming through, take a deep breath, count to 3 and expire very slowly through the mouth. This breathing technique will increase the CO2 in your bloodstream, which is a natural muscle relaxant. It will therefore reduce your body reaction to heavy thinking. Do this three to four times, or until you feel better.
Do something different, whether it is going for a walk, going to the gym or getting involved in other activities that are demanding either physically or mentally.
Affirmations are positive statements that help you to overcome negative thoughts. They help your mind to visualise, and believe in what you're affirming to yourself, helping you to implement positive changes.
I hope it helps, if you’re not sure how ... get in touch… x