Feeling stuck in a rut is overwhelming, confusing, draining and extremely stressful. Sometimes its hard to imagine how we will ever get out of it.
The human ‘hierarchy of needs’ is a useful, simple and highly effective tool to help us understand why we are stuck, and how to move on. The diagram below shows our needs in order of priority (with our essential requirements shown at the bottom of the pyramid).
Unless those most basic of needs are met, we simply cannot reach the higher levels of self-fulfilment. And once we have reached a level, we may not always remain there.
MOVING THROUGH THE LEVELS: We can find ourselves moving down to the lower levels at certain times in our lives, as our minds may unconsciously abandon the level we are on in order to meet the lower needs.
For example, a major life event such as a redundancy, or a divorce may mean we have to refocus on our financial affairs and find a new home. A feeling of financial and domestic security are the essential building blocks of the pyramid.
Maybe you decided not to make any this year, or perhaps you made a few that may have already started to slip by the wayside. If so, you’re definitely not alone!
But why do we tend to lose motivation so quickly? The answer’s in the question…Why? I’ll explain.
As we emerge from the hectic whirl of Christmas, before we know it we are suddenly expected to publicly declare what we want from the year ahead and to have it all planned out! So we dash off a list of goals, without giving them due consideration.
In fact, this quieter second week in January is a much better time to be gently considering the year ahead. Now that the hectic holidays are over, it's an opportunity take a moment to properly consider why we want to change, and how we are going to make that change, rather than just the end goals.
Its not what we do that counts. It is the why and the how that are important. Its called ‘goal mapping’ and it's something that the corporate world invests heavily in because it reaps rewards.
We all have dreams. Some of us dream big, and others dream small. Either way, dreams and goals are a very important part of all of our lives.
We often link our happiness to achieving these goals, and they have a significant impact on our self-esteem.
For example, the day we feel like giving up, and then pull ourselves together and carry on, is the day we develop a strength we didn't know we had within us. This strength never leaves us, and we build on it day after day and week after week. It is this journey towards our goals which so often help us to develop into a better person.So whatever our dreams may be, the journey will be worth it.
Whether we aim to lose a few pounds, start a new career or travel the world…with a small leap of faith we can start our journey today and start working towards our goals.
And when we get there…then what? That's the time to take a while to enjoy our accomplishment, to live in the moment and to enjoy the benefits. It’s so important to recognise our own progress, to look back at our journey and see just how far we've travelled.
Many of my posts will be about loving ourselves because no one is ever going to love you more than you love yourself.
So how do we do it? The answer is by taking one step at a time, by re-programming your mind differently, by helping you understand the connection between the vocabulary you use, your feelings and ultimately, the way you behave. Together we’ll try to make sense of it.
It’s time for us to take a leap of faith and to learn to listen to our own inner voice again/instinct.
As a baby or a child we trusted our own instincts implicitly. We knew exactly what we did or didn't want. When something didn’t feel quite right, we simply moved on to a different game, or played with other friends.
We still have this powerful instinct within us but we’ve become experts at ignoring it! We need to tune back into it again and listen to what it is telling us, trusting it to guide us to what is right for us.
I grew up in France and came to the UK in 1993.
During my early career, I experienced the pressures and stresses of the commercial world, so I have a real understanding of the impact these can have on you, your relationships, your self-image and confidence.
I am a Life Coach and Counsellor. I am a fully trained and qualified Clinical-Hypnotherapist, trained in Person Centred Counselling and Transactional Analysis and I am also a qualified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner.
I am registered with the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council (GHSC) and General Hypnotherapy Register (GHR), who are the UK’s largest and most prominent organisations within the field of Hypnotherapy. I am bound by the codes of ethics of these organisations. I have an enhanced CRB check and am a qualified hypnotherapist.
Client confidentiality is assured.