When we focus on something, we attract the subject of our focus into our lives. Focusing on the positive brings us great things, but focusing on all things negative attracts exactly those negatives into our lives.
I have experienced both sides of this particular coin, both personally and also with my clients. There is no escaping from the fact that the way we feel will ultimately affect the way we behave. Some of us have become ‘hard-wired’ to focus on the negatives.
The good news is that we can easily learn the skills we need to change our ways of thinking:
1. TURN NEGATIVE ENERGY INTO POSITIVE ENERGY. Find as many things as possible to be grateful for. Think about the things in your life that you like - both big and small. This could be your house, your bed, sofa, car, hair, nails, eye colour, how smooth your skin is, your children, partner, or even your dog….
Focus on your own personal list of positives, use your mindfulness skills and notice your breathing slowing down and your body letting go of all tension. After a bit of practice you will find your mind is more peaceful.
Do you ever think about past mistakes; worry about current stresses and how these could negatively impact the future? Do you over analyse other peoples' comments? Do you read into things that aren't actually there?
The thing is, the more we worry about the things that could go wrong, the more anxious we feel in the present. If you recognize yourself in the above, you are what psychologists call a ruminator (an over-thinker). Ruminating on stress and disappointments can be harmful to your health and relationships.
When we find ourselves in this state of mind, we often push away those that we are worrying about or seeking love from. We become anxious, negative, depressed and not very pleasant to be around.
This is not something that we can turn on or off, but skills that we have to learn, memorise and reproduce again and again. It requires perseverance and work to let go of old behaviours, no longer useful and replace them with new ones.
This is where NLP and mindfulness become useful tools to prevent over-thinking and find peace in the present moment.
Maybe you decided not to make any this year, or perhaps you made a few that may have already started to slip by the wayside. If so, you’re definitely not alone!
But why do we tend to lose motivation so quickly? The answer’s in the question…Why? I’ll explain.
As we emerge from the hectic whirl of Christmas, before we know it we are suddenly expected to publicly declare what we want from the year ahead and to have it all planned out! So we dash off a list of goals, without giving them due consideration.
In fact, this quieter second week in January is a much better time to be gently considering the year ahead. Now that the hectic holidays are over, it's an opportunity take a moment to properly consider why we want to change, and how we are going to make that change, rather than just the end goals.
Its not what we do that counts. It is the why and the how that are important. Its called ‘goal mapping’ and it's something that the corporate world invests heavily in because it reaps rewards.
We all have dreams. Some of us dream big, and others dream small. Either way, dreams and goals are a very important part of all of our lives.
We often link our happiness to achieving these goals, and they have a significant impact on our self-esteem.
For example, the day we feel like giving up, and then pull ourselves together and carry on, is the day we develop a strength we didn't know we had within us. This strength never leaves us, and we build on it day after day and week after week. It is this journey towards our goals which so often help us to develop into a better person.So whatever our dreams may be, the journey will be worth it.
Whether we aim to lose a few pounds, start a new career or travel the world…with a small leap of faith we can start our journey today and start working towards our goals.
And when we get there…then what? That's the time to take a while to enjoy our accomplishment, to live in the moment and to enjoy the benefits. It’s so important to recognise our own progress, to look back at our journey and see just how far we've travelled.